AGE OF CONSENT LAWS-The way they SHOULD be! I will illustrate this?

Isabel started puberty at 12 and by age 14 she felt all these hormones raging inside her
and she started to feel attraction towards males. She developed her secondary sex
characteristics which naturally attract men. Paulo who is 22 years of age drives by
Isabel as she’s walking down the sidewalk and does a double-take at how cute she is.
He parks his car and approaches her and asks her age. Isabel tells Paulo she’s 14 and
Paulo decides she’s too young for him and drives away. We can all agree Paulo
did the right thing, but why did Paulo decide she was too young for him? I’ll discuss that
later. Isabel senses Paulo is more mature than she is and therefore she is more
attracted to him then she is her peers. This is because Isabel is going through new changes,
she is developing into a sexual being, and along with that is the need to feel
desirable, if her advances are denied, or lack of advances towards her are not frequent,
this need will not be met and she will feel "unsexy", "undesirable" which will
inevitably lead to low-self esteem, which could lead to depression and disregard for life,
therefore leading to risky behavior. She acknowledges Paulo is older and is therefore primarily
attracted to older women, women that have a firm hold on their sexuality and confident of it,
feelings Isabel is pursuing. Basically, to bag an older man proves to Isabel that she’s just
as sexy as the women Paulo is normally attracted to, therefore confirming that she is indeed
very desirable. This is the workings of an immature mind. This is the reason at times young
women are naturally drawn to older men and will they will often lie about their age to secure
their attention. This is where parents are desperately needed to fulfill their roles. Paulo and
Isabel are in different stages in their lives. Paulo has reached sexual maturity meaning he
can freely engage in intercourse with women and not feel bound by them, and move on to
another women if he pleases, or if he chooses remain with them in a relationship. Regardless
of what actions he takes, the women he’s with are mature enough to handle whatever situation
that arises. Isabel is still in the early stages of her sexuality and is not yet mature enough to
handle the behavior that is inherent to Paulo. For example, say Paulo has sex with Isabel,
she will become over attached to Paulo because she will use him as her affirmation of her
sexual identity, she will not be Paulo’s primary choice, since at her age she will naturally have
boundaries set by her parents which will inhibit Paulo’s freedom, Paulo will want to move on
and Isabel is left with the feeling of being undesirable, used for sex (which is the case, coz why else
would Paulo of done it? if he knew she couldn’t be free with him) and therefore left feeling
dirty and unwanted, at the fragile stage in her development, this can more easily lead to depression ect.
This is the way it SHOULD be! Paulo should started dating women at around the age of 17 on to his age
for they are near to or at the age of full maturity and therefore freedom from parental bondage.
Therefore they will be happy in their freedom and freely engage in intercourse with no hurt feelings since
they are mature enough to handle it. Isabel should be allowed to explore her sexual feelings but only
with people in her age group and with boundaries. This allows her experience in developing feelings for others
at smaller doses and dealing with rejection at smaller doses. (any act that accompanies an orgasm is bound
to lead to a "deeper" feeling of being with someone, since the feeling becomes an addiction, therefore the person
you shared it with becomes one, this is not the case with other acts, such as "kissing" "cuddling", although
they do lead to deeper feelings since they enhance a relationship, the feelings of losing them are less intense
and more easily managed by a person at Isabel’s age.) It is the job of Isabel’s parents to explain this entire
process to her. Why she wants older men, why it’s not right to lie about her age to attain one, why
she should just date people her age ect. IT IS THE PARENTS’S JOB! I can not stress this more enough. Paulo
is not as confident as Isabel suspected. In reality, he has a hard time around women in person at first, he’s fine
once he gets to know them in an inpersonal setting first, then engages a meeting. This is just his usual routine.
Isable also frequents the internet (without parental supervision as usual these days) and spots Paulo’s profile. Her
emotions hit the roof, she must have this older more mature man (in her eyes) because it will make her feel like
an older more mature woman. So typically, she lies about her age, and Paulo being a trusting man doesn’t question it. Isabel
even goes as far as to provide Paulo with a fake picture of a much older woman. For nearly a year, they talked online.
Paulo insists on meeting but Isabel is clever in making up stories as to why they can’t. Mainly that her brothers are involved
in gangs and that they will harm Paulo for dating her since he’s a "stranger of the net" This story seems reasonable so
Paulo decides to wait it out until, as Isabel puts it, she is able to find an apartment and decent paying job to leave her parent’s house
and her brothers. As Paulo becomes tired of waiting and becomes more insistant. Isabel decides she can’t keep up
the ruse any longer and having developed real natural feelings of caring for Paulo,and not handling the guilt any longer
decides to tell him the truth. She tells him one summer day, that she has a confession to make. Paulo’s heart races, what could it be?
She admits she’s really 15. Paulo’s heart drops and beside himself with anger. His first impulse is the right one, he tells
Isabel that he can no longer talk to her. Having dealt with a girl before that threatened suicide at a break-up, Paulo makes sure
she can handle that he can’t talk to her anymore and makes her promise she won’t do anything stupid. She claims she
will end her life if he stops talking to her, and Paulo is upset, but in his irrational mind takes this as a good reason to stay with her
since he simply can’t turn off the feelings he has for her. They developed in a year’s time, but this is simply a state
of confusion and once Paulo finally comes to his senses, he decides it has to end. There is a problem though, and this is where
the law of the land inhibits Paulo from doing what was truly right, which was end the charade, and notify her parents of her actions
and leave it at that. The law states that Paulo can be convicted of this act and sent to jail REGARDLESS of whether he knew
her true age or not. In the context of this situation this law seems utterly ridiculous, but Paulo recognizes it and fears his own
safety (since people with that charge latched onto them are treated less then kindly in prison,even to the point of being killed) and the loss of his freedom
This now becomes a matter of life and death for Paulo, a matter of self-preservation and personal survival. He realizes that
if he were to dump Isabel, there is a very good chance she will not take this very well and in a fit of personal revenge turn him
into the authorities, who could give a damn about his side of the story. He simply can not take the risk and convinces himself that
he has to keep Isabel under surveillance and insure she won’t turn him in, and the best way to do that he figures is to remain her
online boyfriend" therefore she would still care for him too much to risk putting him in harm. He feels repulsed that this is what he feels
he has to do for his own good (I doubt many out there would do any different in the face of jail time and a lifetime brand of being a
sex offender just for being unlucky enough to be duped like this) In his heart of hearts he feels it is wrong, but since he has to deal with it
until she turns 18 (the year Paulo figures he can just be with her, and his fears of persecution will be gone) he convinces himself theres
nothing wrong with being attracted to someone 15 (which in a biological sense, he’s right) and that she’s mature enough to be with him
in a nonsexual relationship (which since thats what she’s supposed to do with boys her age, be in nonsexual relationships) he is right in
a sense that she is mature enough to handle that. Paulo is a victim of circumstance. The circumstances being Isabel’s parents failed in their
duty as parents to properly inform their daughter she should not seek out older men and lie about her age to them, and the circumstance
that the law simply can’t recognize that situations like this do occur and Paulo has the right to end the relationship and defer
Isabel to her parents, and the parents be reprimanded for unproper surveillance of their child and neglect of their duties to properly
educate her. Paulo is forced to pervert his very nature for the sake of saving his own hide. Isabel finally grows bored of Paulo as she gets older
and simply dumps him. Paulo is RELIEVED! A huge weight is off his shoulders. Although he feels a tinge of fear she may still turn him in, he feels
she has less reason to do so since it was her decision to leave. He now lives with perpetual guilt for what he did. Logically, he was stuck between
a rock and a hard place, the rock being being set up to be in that situation by Isabel and essentially her parents to and the hard place being his
life, freedom and reputation stripped from him, he found himself between that and came to the decision he thought was right for his own
personal benefit. This is the type of thing that happens when society is blind to science, psychiatry, and common sense and makes there laws
in a way that it OPPOSES those very things that enrich our lives and gives us proper understanding on how things should be. I explained how
science, psychiatry, and common sense has dictated (at least in my view) things should of went down, but the laws, and improper education of
the parents and the child leads to a haphazard mishandling of things that only leads to the ruination of lives.

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