do you think there’s any hope in my case?
im 32 , white and from england.
for many years ive felt people in the community treat me like some sort of outcast or THREAT , stand-offish , unfriendly mannerisms towards me by members of the public , funny confrontational glares by black and asian bad-boy types whilst out in the streets, fixed glares by them while there in their cars…. unfriendly cold , unfavourable manners by shop clerks, shop workers , other members of the public etc.
i really dont understand whats going on, like seriously.
i could understand it many , many years ago, when i had severe aggression problems, and blind rage public outbursts a lot to do with PTSD and personality disorders because of victimisation in earlier life. - but ive controlled those rages for many years now , been dedicated in getting help, the right mental health treatment….im still waiting for psychotherapy.
but altogether for about 7 years , ive live in my own 1 bedroom apartment on disability, owning few possessions , trying to do my best, cooperate with what the mental health services want…..controlling the aggression….managing in my flat.
i haven’t had the easiest of lives, faced a lot of adversities as well as hard psychological difficulties, missed out on things like - forming relationships , being employed , having qualifications and most other things.
been in jail 11 years ago for violent conduct, been in a mental hospital. have a tough history.
but ive managed to survive to hear, yes naturally aloof and unsocial, but ive been working on it for years , being more friendly and social….making efforts with the public.
life gets very lonely living alone, having no social support, very few family and hard struggles to face.
all i want to do is try to aspire to my goals of getting a decent paid computer job….then i would like to buy a home in a quiet coastal village near the sea , build a few relationships - those are my goals.
but for years i still face this problem of people treating me like a social outcast. threatening looks etc.
i mind my own business , don’t bother anybody just want to survive and achieve my hopes.
but its difficult when everything seems to be against you.
my aggressive outbursts ive controlled for years, so i might have a serious expression or come across as aloof or whatever , but thats just me…its not a crime to look serious…..and i haven’t exactly had a lot to smile about have i ?
anyone got a clue what im gonna do ?
Posted in psychotherapy business
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January 24th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Alas, I have endured some unbelievable and unspeakably stressful conditions myself, so I can sympathize with you. Here are a few suggestions:
(1) It is indeed difficult to put on a happy face when you’ve been through hell and back, but it can be done if you take a moment to appreciate the positive things of the here and now. Even if you have nothing more than being alive in a safe place to be thankful for, it is still a wonderful privilege when compared to the plight of many before us. Moreover, if people give you ugly looks, simply try and return the gesture with a genuinely good attitude. As long as you know that you’re doing the very best that you can, it doesn’t matter what other people think–and if you’re in a community that is already predisposed to have an unfavorable view of you, consider moving elsewhere. Keep your head up high, and you will eventually find some good people out there.
(2) My own personal faith has undoubtedly been a source of strength, so at the risk of sounding cliche, I suggest that you consider developing a closer relationship with God. Pray for salvation; believe in Jesus as your saviour; and always pray for guidance in your unique situations and endeavors. Refer to links #1 and #2 that I have provided–the first is informative, and the latter contains brief excerpts that have inspired me.
(3) If loneliness persists, consider regularly engaging in intrinsically social activities (e.g., church, online gaming, sports, hobbies, volunteering, anything else you’re passionate about/enjoy doing/can think of). It’s always fun and refreshing to collaborate with others, and you will develop lasting friendships at the same time.
(4) For your computer-related aspirations, work on getting a relevant certification in the near future. The CompTIA A+ certification is a good way to start out, and you can move on to Cisco/Microsoft/ISC2/EC-Council certifications as you advance. Studying for these tests will not only improve your technical abilities, but it will almost certainly guarantee you a better quality job once you enter the IT workforce. See link #3.
(5) Consider drafting an impromptu (and evolutionary) document with a list of short-term and long-term objectives. This can never be a bad idea; as it will serve to motivate you in tough times, remind you of your goals in life, and provide greater perspective into what needs to be done.
Hold true to your dreams, and if you find yourself in a rut, do your best to correct the situation as soon as you realize it. No matter how damn awful things have been or how grave current circumstances seem; you can persevere and emerge victorious; I am a living testament to this fact.
January 24th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
just keep working on getting better. be sure to see a therapist weekly and youll get better. there are medications an such that you can take that will help you. you can defiantly get through this there is no doubt in my mind. best of luck
January 24th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
no
January 24th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
dont expect everyone in the world to smile at you all the time. i bet people you see every day dont scowl or anything and if you dont see people regularly then try to get out more and go to the same places so people will recognise you and stuff.
i’m told i walk around looking too serious and i scare old ladies and kids sometimes cause i have a beard and apparently look rough but people who know me see me completely different and thats all that matters, some people dont understand guys like us lol
you also may live in a place where they dont like brits, just some thoughts