Help with pschotherapy please?
Though I partly know the answer to my question, viz go see a psychotherapist, I would like sugestions so I do it better.
I am a 30 yr old male, currently unemployed, just sitting at my parents home ( though I share the rent/expenses using my savings). I was fired from my previous job; and before that too I quit just before they were gonna fire me. I am a loser in that I wouldn’t move a muscle to help myself, and keep no friends. I have succeeded in losing contact with college (then) friends, and didn’t make any new ones in last 6 years.
I have traced the genesis of my apathy to some abuse I suffered as a 11 year old. And I really had to understand it, stranger, cause till I was 20, I had no clue that the abuse had any effect on me at all. The abuse was sexual in nature, and had an bullying element to it. Now I am 30, lonely, unemployed and suffering with back problem, I feel so sad cause I believe 20 years of my life have been taken from me. The the rest of it does not look good either.
I guess I should mention that shame, fear, low self-esteem, apathy etc have been my constant companions. I think that unless I share my secret with *someone/anyone I wont be able to get anywhere. I tried writing it now, but dont really wanna. I guess I should talk to a psychiatrist, but am fearful about it.
Sometimes I am so angry cause I know the abuser is living somewhere, perhaps a happy life, perhaps still abusing kids( so tough to even write this), and have murderous thoughts. But don’t worry, I am no murderer; I know I am a coward ( this is how I put myself down all the time, just an example)
All these years I have read alot to unsderstand what my problem is. The mirror neurons, Maslow, 100s of hours of reading of pshychology text without proper understanding etc, have not helped me cause all along I have known this quote from Einstein has some truth: "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them." I guess I need someone’s help.
Please suggest how I should get the best out of a pshychotherapist. I feel like I should just go to someone, blurt out my secret, by which I mean the details of the abuse. Is that how its supposed to work?
Also please tell me what type of therapy, or psychologist should I talk to.
I am not a westerner. Does that change how psychotherapy applies to me?
PS this post really seems long; and I am sure its incoherent. I have been thinking about writing it for like 20 days but was ral lazy( read apathetic) . Also as you can guess I made this account to ask this question. Tho I have spend hous on end on yahoo answers previously.
Posted in children psychotherapy
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September 19th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Well, what you just said is a lot. I would definitely suggest seeing someone who specializes in that type of trauma. And what you said go in and just tell them what happened. The key to therapy is honesty with your therapist and yourself. It is hard at times but can be beneficial in making your life what you want of it. I wish you the best and a very happy life. Good Luck.!
September 19th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Y’know..if you think you’re messed up now, if you put your mental stability in the hands of one of those pseudoscience monsters it will push you on over the edge. The psychology industry is there to make money and turn people into worse victims than they already are.
If you truly want help, just FORCE yourself to get out into a social situation, go apply for another job and realize that you’re not the only person to be sad over their lot in life.
The way you feel is a natural reaction…put there for a reason. You don’t want someone pushing drugs on you and telling you that you’re not typical.
Get involved in something you enjoy studying and completely immerse yourself in it…soon you’ll find that the more you learn about something interesting, the less you’ll think about yourself.
September 19th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Sounds like you’ve had a very rough go of it during the major part of your life. My first advice would be to seek the help of a psychiatrist who deals with post traumatic stress syndrome and anxiety. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the post traumatic. If not, in an nutshell, it’s the festering of an abusive situation that occurred in your past that has been deeply burried and not dealt with or accepted. First, you have to realize that what happened is not your fault and if there if there is any guilt feelings there, you have to foregive yourself. You did not cause this to happen. Second, this subhuman being, while terrible things may have happened, should not have ANY power over you. I was told by my therapist that you choose to control your own feelings. By making yourself a basket case over this person is having no effect on him, is it? Why should it have such a detrimental effect on you? Believe me, I don’t mean to sound cold and uncaring about your situation but I’ve been through it myself. Once you place as little emphasis on this person/situation as possible, you will take your life back and not be a victim. The best way to accomplish this is through faith in God, a good psychiatrist and therapy. You can overcome this. Best of luck to you.
September 19th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
I know of someone who can help you, please refer to the links I’ve attached below.
I am very suprised at reading your plight as it is very similar to mine. You are a unique person as you gain your knowledge and understanding through reading and personal experience. I think Psychotherapy could benifit you, but you wouldn’t achieve the results you are actually searching for.
If you haven’t done so already, I greatly encourage you to read "The Allegory of the Cave" by Plato. As you are stepping out of the shadows of the cave and begining to see the truth. You have the strength of mind to do this where many don’t. Congratulations!
But I’m getting ahead of my self. What helped me, really helped me is stumbling across Roy Masters radio program. I listened and things started to really make sense. Then I checked out his web site and read several of his articles and things began to really click in and I began to have an understanding I didn’t before. I finally really forgave my mother for what she did to me and was able to let it go. Next, I started the meditation Roy calles "be still and know" and after some time I began to see the world, society as it really is. I’m still not 100% there, but I am emerging from the cave.
Please e-mail me if you want and we can talk more. Good luck.
e-mail me by clicking my Avatar picture. This will bring up my personal page. To the right of my avatar pic. will be a link to e-mail me.
Godspeed!