I need help on how to?
I have suffered from depression for three years now. I have been on medication for three years now. I am getting better at dealing with things in my life and coping with my depression.
Yet one problem still remains. When I got depressed I lost my ability to feel love for myself and for others. It’s as if there no feelings at all except for fear, sorrow, anger and frustration. In other words negative emotions. It’s been a long time since I have felt love, and other positive emotions. I have also lost my sexual desire completely, I don’t even have sexual thoughts, or any arousement from anything what so ever and I have tried many things to try to stimulate it.
I know that most of you are going to suggest I go to counseling. I do see that as a thing I must go back to doing. However, I feel that I have reached the best that I can come out of with my counseling. I don’t think there is any counselor around me that is capable of going any deeper then cognitive behavioural stuff, and medication. In other words I don’t think there is any one competent in my area to help me with this issue.
All I really want to know is any suggestions. If anyone has ever experienced this and got those feelings back, and how they did so. Any suggestions on how I can regain those feelings, things I can try, things I can do, things that might bring it back. Ideas, suggestions, any sort of advice….anything. Something I can do myself, at home, to help regain those feelings again.
Posted in cognitive treatment
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August 8th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
I have had depression for most of my life, there is no hard and fast way to sort yourself out, however, here are a few simple suggestions:
When you get up each morning tell yourself how wonderful and marvellous you are - ‘I am wonderful and marvellous’ and do it at least 10 times and try to smile at the same time.
Each day find at least 5 positive things to say about yourself, e.g. handsome, beautiful, empathic, sympathetic, great cook, great driver, lovely person, intelligent, etc.
Write a journal everyday and put down your thoughts and emotions, both negative and positive.
Set yourself a goal each day: I shall get up, have a bath and put a suit on and go for a walk; I shall write 1,000 words; I shall go hang-gliding in the nude and let everything hang out - grin.
Join a club that does something that you have never done before, e.g. a poetry club, a sports club, a walking club, a social club, a whatever club.
Remember that a healthy mind is more important than a healthy body where depressives are concerned, but you cannot have a healthy mind without a healthy body, so a comfortable exercise like walking for 30 minutes 5 times a week is all you need.
Eat what the body needs and your local medical centre district nurse will be able to advise you about the ‘Well Woman’ programme and nutrition.
Eventually most depressives are standing at the bottom of a deep dark well and wondering how on earth one is going to get better, ultimately that comes down to each one of us finding ourselves and putting the bits and pieces back together.
Councelling helps but it still us who are the only ones who can see inside ourselves.
For myself I find that writing is a great help and I am never without my online journal, the internet.
Try to develop a positive mental attitude and try to make small decisions for yourself that you know that you can do, this increases confidence and makes you feel better and more in control of your life.
Then do bigger and bigger decisions and slowly increase your personal confidence and with it your sense of being you and you will find that the positive emotions come back.
August 8th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Get help.
August 8th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Hello,
In order to start feeling positive emotions towards others you need to start loving and accepting yourself otherwise it will be hard for you to love others.
Meditation can help you clear the negativity that you have - but this is not going to happen overnight. You need to practice regularly at least for 2 months to start seeing the benefits. Try mantra meditation twice a day for 20 minutes.
Another thing to consider is taking supplements. It might sound strange but deficiency of some vitamins and minerals can make us depressed and full of negativity. Our brain is affected by food that we eat and if we have deficiency of certain nutrients this can result in negative emotions. This is especially true for the Vitamin B complex deficiency. Take high potency B complex (at least 50 mg) for at least a month and you will feel the difference. Omega-3 is another supplement that helps fight the depression and all the negativity associated with it. Make sure you don’t have any contraindications. If you are on any medication these supplements can interact negatively with your pills - ask your doctor before taking them.
See more tips in the article below.
Hopefully these tips will help you to snap out of your current condition.
July 15th, 2011 at 11:11 am
Hi, you sound like you’ve really been through it and depression is a horrible thing to live with.
OK so here is some free advise.
1. Check your thinking. Are your thoughts mainly negative and helpless? Challenge them and put a positive thought in their place. Keep doing it - it does help
2. Get out and do some exercise, it will help you feel better
3. Read some good self help books on depression. I’m a Human Givens Therapist and can recommend Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell’s book on the subject. Google ‘Human Givens’ and visit their website. You might even find a good therapist there.
4.Fill out an Emotional Needs Questionnaire - you might be able to google this too. When our human needs aren’t being met we can become depressed and anxious, and so can all those around us.
I could give you loads more suggestions, but it does sound like you haven’t found the right therapist yet. I hope you do, because depression CAN be healed - honest it can.