I won't be able to go back to school at this rate - I might as well kill myself?
I’m a 15 year old boy in London, England. All of my shouting and arguments have caused my neighbours to avoid my parents. Even though my parents are great, and don’t deserve this, my dad was the one who caused this. He has bipolar disorder and his 3 month manic episodes are like the last 30 minutes of Scarface. He’s like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. My mum tried to hide the episodes from me when I was a kid, but that didn’t work as it got worse the older I got.
Finally when I was 14 the last big episode (summer 2006) caused me to lose my sanity and resulted in brief psychosis, which went, but ended with me in isolation and away from school.
I broke out of isolation last summer and went back to school in September, but I couldn’t sustain it and ended up where I am now - back in my house.
My organisation’s getting worse everyday, so is my attention and working memory. I can’t do quadratic equations that I used to be able to do last summer without any practice. I can’t get out of bed in the morning to get to school no matter how hard I try.
- My psychiatrist doesn’t seem to care. She can’t diagnose or help me, she can only prescribe drugs - she’s a frickin’ mobile drug dispenser.
- My psychologist says I’m a very complex patient, who needs a report with a narrative, not diagnoses. He thinks I have ADD and bipolar but can’t offer diagnoses.
- My psychotherapist can only organise events and meetings.
- The other two offer ideas in meetings.
Don’t say get a new psychiatrist - I can’t this is the universal health care system of the UK where I have no control. I wish I could choose my doctors though.
As you can bet I’m pissed off, so I’ve come up with a plan. Call me delusional but hey my future is at risk. I’m gonna threaten that if they don’t offer a diagnosis and treatment I’ll wont go to school until they do it. If that doesn’t work I’ll raise the stakes and threaten that I’ll kill myself if they don’t offer a diagnosis and treatment. That’s all they care about – suicide. They don’t care if your life is hell for 6 months and getting worse – but as soon as you mention the word suicide all the first class treatment comes along. If I want to take my life back I’ve got to be proactive about doing it so here goes.
Is this gonna work? It better do.
Posted in Psychotherapist London
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September 16th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Threats of suicide to manipulate others. Hmmmm. Now why didn’t I think of that?
Can’t tell you if its’ gonna work though…..let us know.
September 16th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
better yet, threaten your shrink as well, that will get him/her diagnosing real fast.
just kidding dont do it.
September 16th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
damn, thats tough to handle.
i cant tell you if it will work or not, and i know you dont want to hear that its not gonna work.
living in america, i dont know how your health system works, but it sounds like sh*t.
they might put you in the loony bin for telling them you’ll kill yourself instead of working with you on it.
but it does sound like you have bipolar, which is often confused for ADHD.
your plan might be the only thing that will work
but maybe try getting your psychiatrist to prescribe something like xanax, it may help because it will calm you down and stuff. idk
talk to a doctor first
September 16th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
1] you don’t necessarily need a ‘diagnosis’ to be treated properly, but it would be helpful for the future. ‘ADD’ and ‘Bipolar’ both sound like diagnoses to me.
2] threatening the health care people will add additional ‘labels’ to your record - ’suicidal’ and ‘manipulative’.
3] discuss ALL your symptoms with the psychiatrist, and the psychologist.
4] ask psychologist which drugs he/she is giving you, and why
5] try family therapy - you already have two symptomatic individuals in your family, hopefully both under treatment
6] avoid ALL other drugs - alcohol, nicotene, caffeine, street stuff, other people’s meds
7] go for a walk every day - even in your pajamas [ assuming they cover all your bits ]. The exercise and the sunshine will help
8] try to eat really well - avoid all fried, fast, and junk foods - even diet junk foods
9] take a good multivitamin with minerals every day
10] Take your meds, as directed, same time every day
11] hug your mom and dad once a day
12] do something nice - for yourself or someone else. Tell parents you love them, it’s almost Valentine’s Day.
Will remember you in my prayers!
September 16th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
That’s kinda scary, I can’t imagine being in that situation. But it sounds like a pretty good plan to me. Just as long as you don’t actually kill yourself. Let me know if it works!
September 16th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Hi sweetheart, it really sounds like you’re in over your head here. My advice is not to threaten your psychiatrist or your parents, if you really want help and you really want to get better, you need to be patient and let the people who want to help you help you. I really do understand–I have a problem with obsessive compulsive thinking and a loss of contact with reality (sort of a confusion between what’s real and what’s not)–so I know how hard it can be when people aren’t able to give you the help that you need quickly. I also have a house in London–in West Hampstead, so if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to you then we always make arrangements. The important thing to remember is to stay calm and to do your best to sort out your own issues–if your psychiatrist truly doesn’t care about your problems then find someone who is more than happy to help you work things out; for example, i’d be more than happy to help you work out your problems.
September 16th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
http://www.yogananda-srf.org
http://www.easwaran.org
might help.
http://www.divinecosmos.com guy had a difficult road ("The Reincarnation of Edgar Cayce?", Free and Wilcock)
"Man, Master of His Destiny," O. M. Aivanhov, might help.
You sound like you understand yourself better than some of your docs.
The act of self-attacking is something that might be a serious record issue. Would simply refuse to budge to go to school and hope that’d be sufficient to move them off their hallucinatory drugging protocol.
"The Path of the Higher Self," Mark Prophet, and "Watch Your Dreams," Ann Ree Colton, might be worthwhile education while you "rest" at home.
Psychiatrist Olga Kharitidi has two interesting books: "Entering the Circle" and "The Master of Lucid Dreams."