Is the reason why I make unrealistic expectations of myself because all my life, others made them of me?
Yes, all my life, people have made unrealistic expectations of me, & now, I noticed that I’m making them of myself, which is causing anxiety, stress & frustration. Ex: My family would expect a 2-story, 9-bedroom house to be meticulously cleaned (from top to bottom) in 3 hrs. Thanks to them, I think that’s why I have OCD.
Now, I have my BA degree in Spanish, & I’m still not fluent. So, since I can’t find a job, I’m brushing up on my Spanish, while I’m waiting on job offers & applying for as many jobs as I can. I get frustrated because I didn’t get to study the WHOLE book in 1 day. I’m anxious to complete the WHOLE book in 1 day. & when I don’t, I get frustrated & give up & stop studying. How can I calm down & tell myself this is an unrealistic expectation?
My counselor & I are working on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help me be able to deal with my mental illnesses. The anxiety, OCD, Tourette’s, & depression. & the panic attacks.
Yes, I take meds & see a psychiatrist.
Posted in cognitive treatment
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July 15th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
yes, it is almost certainly because others had unrealistic expectations of you. at some point, it became less painful to make them YOUR expectations for yourself, so that you placed all this pressure on yourself, rather than hearing it from others - especially your parents.
July 15th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
I think it is likely their type of expectation has become yours.
It is good you’re getting cognitive behavioral therapy; it should help a lot, if you stick with it.
Meanwhile, are you taking any medication? You might need that too.
July 15th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
The first and most important thing you must do, is to stop excepting, and placing all these negative term and labels on yourself !
I would say that having high expectations is a good thing, it only means that you will accomplish more than one that has lower standards.
I would offer this. You are the only one that has the prerogative to decide what you wish to do with you life. It is your time to do with what you choose. You will always be a self started, and a self motivating person. Realize that you must have time to relax, and enjoy life. Making that part of the reality you live.