is there any quick way to achieve my goal in life?

because of my age 31 , i fear time is going to run out..

my goals in life at nearly 31 are still to : get a decent job in IT computers , then to move abroad, leave england forever to somewhere hot and coastal l - its my biggest goal, i wont give it up or adjust it.

but iam at so many disadvantages and im starting out later in life, ive physicaly aged in my face prematurly.

because of a hard misfortunate life, ive missed out on the normal things people take for granted :

building relationships , being employed , getting qualifications , living a life , learning developmental social skills. have a criminal past 8 years ago, been in a mental hospital 8 years ago -

missed out on all of it.

i know i have to be determined to be positive, strong and work through what has to be worked on but….damn….i dont want to be here in england…

i just feel overwhelmed with everything and worry my happiness and life goals will never happen……feel like im way left behind everybody else, have a lot of catching up to do, worry time will run out because im now nearly 31 .
ive aged prematurely in my face , im bald with shaved head, look every year of my age.

im waiting for reconstructive surgery operations on my ankle because i completely torn the ligament in an accident year ago , its very weak, it can easily give way, have to watch how i walk — im on the waitin list , and after, will be in plaster for 6 weeks on crutches , i live on the 3rd floor in my apartment so i feel really immobilised and debilitated with it.

i have borderline personalty and post traumatic stress, bad anxiety, agoraphobia, difficulty in controlling rage and aggression, but i have great insight, im aware i have problems , and ive been seeking help for myself for years now , since i had this apartment 4 years ago..

they dont have the treatment i want in my area because of funding and lack of resources, i asked for psychotherapy. so im having to roll with what there offering : an occupational therapist to help me re integrate back into society, go places with me, get me involved , because ive been reclusive most my adult life..

because of my disadvantages- and the way i feel left behind in life –
i have a deep fear ill be trapped in this situation for the rest of my life , in a lonely apartment on benefits, being looked after by the government , at the mercy of the system, cutt off , lonely isolated , old - surrounded by yobish, antisocial teenagers, because of the crumbling society in uk..

i stress, i really do not want to be here in the uk, i seriously want to emigrate move abroad , somewhere hot, attain a job in IT…….i seriously feel trapped here.

Posted in psychotherapy education