My daughters probation officer is wanting to lock her up, for reasons that seem un-fair! Advice? Thank you!?

My daughter is on probation for acts she committed a year ago. She has always been very defiant, but two weeks ago she went into a depression and stop wanting to go to school. One of the days she was at school, I was called. She was very upset sitting in the principal office and talking to her PO, just stating she did not know why she did not want to be there. I took her to a hospital where our insurance would authorize 5 half days of out-patient therapy. I relayed this to her PO. The first day she would not go, refused to get out of the car. Her PO asked her to come to his office for a drug test, which she passed and had no reason to detain her so ordered her to go to the treatment on Monday. Monday came and she again she would not go, she did go to my psycho-therapist appointment and my doctor, bless his heart because he normally does not see teens agreed to counselor her. I tried another hospital to get her in-patient and they denied it. Monday evening seemed ok, I relayed to her PO that she was going to start regularly going to therapy with this doctor and her PO said to call if she did not go to school on Tuesday. Tuesday morning came, she was crying and said I cannot do it tell them to just come pick me up, I hate my life. I noticed marks on her arm that looked a couple days old, and she said it was from a few days ago.

Her PO put a pick up order on her and she was transported to juvenile. He found a hospital the same day, four hours away that agreed to take her. She has been there for ten days now and being released this morning. After mutilple tests her diagnosis is oppositional defiant disorder, and borderline personality traits. They out her on prozak- for depression and lamitical- for moods( they will not say disorder until she is 18) The two disorders are both treated with psychotherapy and her learning to control her anger and outbursts. In the hospital she did not like the doctors and had some behavioral outbursts, well duh! she has those at home all the time. Her room had holes all over the walls and doors and while she has been gone, we have replaced drywall,her door and painted. We wanted her to come to a new room and not a reminder of past outbursts, and thought if her room was nice she would not want to destroy it.

Here goes where I feel I failed… Her PO stated in the beginning that he would hold her the one day transport her to the hospital and she would return to detention for 3- 4 days and return home. He informed me yesterday his intentions because of her behavior is to detain her for over a month. This is his recommendation to the judge, however the counselors at the hosptial I spoke with stated their recomendations were NO residentail care, and NOT to be detained. She needed therapy, which her next appointment is in a week, suppose to be.

I am so confused, mad, and angry at myself. She is not going to get better in a cell!

Any advice would be appreciated, and sorry I wrote a such a big detail of the last few weeks here.

Thank you.
To the one who asked if I do not know how to discipline my own child……

One do you have a child with this disorder? Let me ask you, if you were told to FK off and I fking hate you by your own child would you slap them in the face, which is against the law? My child has been defiant for over a year, I paid . not the governement for 15 weeks of classes to teach myself parenting skills for children with behavioral issues. I tried and implemented this approach. Ground her? Well what do you do when the child says fk you and takes off anyways?

Lht,

I want to thank you for answer and am sorry to hear that your family is going through something similar. Yes I do and have catered to her and your right it may be time for tough love, I have done what I can. It is up to her to get help and I need to realize I have done what I could.

Thank you!

Posted in psychotherapy office