Self esteem , Anxiety , Depression and i'm only 13 , help :(?
Hey guys , i wrote a question about my issues a few weeks ago , i always think it has been resolved but it never is!
I’m confident talking to people online because nobody can see me , but at school with my friends i can never think of anything to say , it is horrible! I am so depressed , i always question the point in life , i find it hard to make eye contact with some people and sometimes because i think they will think i’m ugly ( i don’t know why), i accidentally change the pitch of my voice because i fear i sound stupid. I know I’m not a schizophrenic because my dad is a psychiatric nurse so please don’t suggest that as i don’t hear voices XD
But yeah , everyday is weird for me , i constantly worry about people not accepting me , thinking I’m boring or a total retard. I think i just tend to look at people and how they react to things way tooo much because its a common trait in my family unfortunately.
I mentioned in my last question , I was bubbly last year at school and had tonnes of mates , and now if i’m with a group of my close mates we have great laughs! It just seems that when i’m talking to them one on one i find it really awkward and i just say any old crap to try and keep them interested .
Social interaction is a never ending struggle for me , which sucks because i want to be a forensic psychiatrist and i’m scared that my own insecurities will hold me back . I just need some help with my confidence , social skills and esteem please anyone ???? When i was about 6 my parents went through a nasty divorce and it made me eat and eat until i was over weight ( i’m of average mass now) Could this of screwed me up? I’m pretty sure i’m over it by now ! And is it weird that i love my alone time , i love sitting in my room singing and watching TV by myself , i have had a few boyfriends in the past but my self esteem and anxiety tends to kick in there also! I worry that their mates wont like me and my mind goes blank, i don’t act myself around them 
Is it weird i prefer my alone time to most social interaction ??? Does anybody have the same troubles as i do and can anyone help me :(? Because to be honest , i can’t see how i belong in society anymore, i despise school although i’m good at most things there , i worry ALL the time and i am so over emotional it is unbelievable! What will give me things to talk about ??? Can i read more books , or watch more movies ?? Anyone ???????????? x
Posted in forensic psychiatrist
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March 5th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
haha, you sound like me now with all the social awkwardness and all that fun stuff. What i learned to do is to just not care. I used to feel like you, concerned with looks, socially couldn’t get anything going, questioned life, but then i just sopped caring. What if people don’t like you, tell them to shove it. What if you say something stupid, you just made things a little more interesting. What if your bf doesn’t like you, then he wasn’t the right person anyway.
Wear your personality on your sleeve, let people know who you are and don’t worry about what people think. There’s always someone out there who likes you for who you are believe me.
March 5th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
There is only the present, the past does not exist but it can take forgiveness for you to realize this. Things only seem to screw you up if you believe they can and still, it’s an illusion.
You will go through processing these things and letting them go as insignificant as you keep your focus on what happiness is. It is helping people. You are included in these people because you must take care of yourself to help others. Don’t worry about what to say, it’s not to be popular but to hep and the words will come.
March 5th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
I only read half of this so forgive me. I use to think like you whenever I’m in a new place. The first guy is right. The key is not to care. What can someone who doesn’t know you possibly say to you to make your life worse. Do what you want and stop caring what others think. To break this, when you make eye contact to someone instead of looking awkward just say Hi. People will pick on you in a heartbeat if they see you have no self-esteem. Build a strong personality so others want to talk to you. You are going to have to deal with people all your life, so get use to it. Don’t be scared of people just because you think they are going to judge you. If anyone says anything to you about what you wear or how you act just say, we are all different and you are intitled to your own opinion about me if that makes you feel better about yourself.
March 5th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
You’re at an age when you’re trying to find the real you. Just stop comparing yourself with others, because there’s no one else like you.
Also, look for hobbies and clubs that offer activities that you’re good at. If you get involved, you should meet compatible people that you could help, and make friends. To make friends, you must be one. Learn to break the ice by talking about things you know about and like best. The point is to become distracted from yourself and show sincere concern about others. Then you’ll see they have problems, too. Some are the same as yours or worse.
Change the way you think about school, because it’s your education you’ll need for the future, not what you hate now about teachers, etc. Learn something new each day for your own brain’s sake. If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.
The best relationship you can have is with the One who made you, gave you your personality, talents, skills, and knows your future. He can also take your fears, worries, insecurities, and frustrations, like He did for me, if you trust Him. He’ll give you everything you need. Start a new direction by asking Jesus Christ into your heart, pray the following out loud:
"Dear Lord Jesus, come into my heart. Forgive me of my sin. Wash me and cleanse me. Jesus, thank You that You died for me so I would have eternal life. I believe that You are the Son of God who rose from the dead and that You’re coming back again for me. I’ll live for you. Thank you, Lord for saving me. Amen."
If you sincerely meant what you prayed, Congratulations and welcome to the family of God! Keep the relationship going by:
o Talking to God everyday about everything. Ask for His help in the name of Jesus Christ.
o Reading, meditating, and applying His Word daily from the Bible to your life. Start with St. John from an easy-to-read version.
o Making friends at a local Bible-teaching, Holy Spirit-led church, for encouragement.
o Telling others about Jesus Christ.
March 5th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
Last year i went through a phase were i had stop speaking to my best friend as we fell out and ended up not making any new friends as i was so upset by this. This social withdrawal caused all these racing thoughts about why no one likes me and so on. However, i got some help from my gran dad and he tried to build my confidence up.
I started by just saying good morning to strangers in the street. Then i greeted people i didn’t know at college and started to answer questions in class.
And now, i have still not conquered my fear of public speaking in front of the class and in large groups, however it has significantly improved.
As for thinking that you are boring, i felt the same so what i did was swat up on things that everyone likes watching popular TV shows or music in the charts and this should hopefully give you scope to produce conversation. Also try thinking of how you are similar to people. For example you are the same age, in the same lessons, going to university/college that sort of stuff, current news event and so on.
This is a bit of a long winded response but if you take these basic it will make you feel better i promise you and keeping self contained just makes it worse.
Good luck