should i abandon my dreams because they seem unrealistic?
right now my dream seems unrealistic, out of reach and impossible to accomplish.
im nearly 31, ive suffered a very hard life, missed out everything ; forming any relationships - attaining employment, getting qualifications - an education, all the basic things.
i have a criminal past going back 7 years ago, been in a mental hospital. been homless vagrant living in the salvation army.
i now have lived alone for 4 years, i own nothing in material possessions except an old computer.
im on disability benefits as was diagnosed with bpd personality disorder , ptsd traits, iam now fully compliant with the mental health services and pushing for therapy, even though theres no resource for individual psychotherapy right now.
i have agoraphobia, anxiety and panic problems , used to have aggressive outbursts and rage outburst years ago in public, where i would completly lose it in crowded places , lash out, feel paranoid, stressed, angry and jealous of others , lash out at people , pick fights with strangers , push people over , get attacked myself and hurt myself, get cautioned by police , ive been very lucky.
ive managed the rage successfully for years and been pursuing help therapy.
rage and aggression has been my number one problem throughout my life and its very difficult to control impulses at times.
rage comes from being continuosly bullied in adolescence.
now i hold on to my dreams in the present, they are what keeps me going, they are ;to move to a quiet part of spain or some place in europe near a coastline, find a wife , some friends , a computer job that pays enough, live a simple , secure life.
but right now , as i wait for the right therapy, try to be there with a positive attitude, work on my self - my dream / goals seem a long, long , long way off and very impossible to reach..
i get lonely, disheartend, disallusioned, and the fact i live alone to with no social support network except my mother and 1 or 2 online friends which seem to have deserted me.
i suffer very low self esteem, get clingy, to eager so its hard to form any friendships, even online because they reject me.
i presently reside in england and it recently occured to me that at my disadvantages in life, i will never reach my ambitions that ive laid out for myself, and that maybe i shouldnt bother and accept the life i have now…
so regarding these dreams, do i give up on them because im to disadvantaged ?
btw - im not telling you all of this because i want you to feel sorry for me or treat me as a charity case , im telling it you so you can see the disadvantages in life iam at.
Posted in online psychotherapy
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May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
your goals are achievable if you break them down, say if you decide to concentrate on finding a job or free education that will get you that job and focus on nothing else except that goal, you will find that your other goals will become easier to reach. They are only unrealistic if you don’t act on them, you just have to take that first step
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
i was in your situation, what your doing is letting your illness control your life and define who you are as a person, stop that, get on medication and go to whatever therapy is available to you
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
you know wat? we can dream anything, it is Unlimited.. so go on, dream wat u want,
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
Of course you don't give up. You're only 31 years old. You have PLENTY of time to do whatever you want!! You are your own worst enemy dude. Go out there and get what you want.
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
If they are what keep you going, why should you drop them? I too have dreams which are very unrealistic but they’re dreams so there’s no need to limit them.
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
Someone once told me ‘to try is to succeed’
Your history will make it hard for you, but as long as you work past it - it will become just that History and nothing more.
Some employers will not want to hire you if you’ve had a criminal past, but that’s something you’ll have to accept. You can possibly get started on a basic computer course with a job center near you (I think for free…even if you are beyond basic with computers people like to have paperwork to prove it) Plus it would let you get out more, and meet people, allow you to test your limits more?
Hope that helps
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
I wouldn’t like to be in your position.at least you know your disadvantages so you can deal with them.everyone deserves to dream no matter what.
Do you know Formula1 driver Robert Kubica?he was just a boy that had a dream to became formula1 driver.everyone was telling him to give it up because in Poland he had no condition to exercise this sport,he had no money and no support at all.People were laughing at him and telling him to get a real job.
after all he made it, completely on his own.
Read some optimistic books and watch movies they can give you hope.
Never give up no matter how hard it can be.
Try to deal with your problems and go out into society.step by step.
end even when sometimes you fail do not give up.
good luck in your life!
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
No, you should not give up on your dreams. It’s for sure you’ll never achieve them if you give up. It might take you longer than it would others who don’t have as many obstacles to overcome, but obstacles are a gift from God to teach us how to take better care of ourselves, and teach us to have compassion for others.
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
Dont feel guilty if you dont know what to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didnt know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still dont.
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
you might have to….this world is expensive and frustrating..
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
The only way to achieve your dreams is with a positive attitude. You aren't the only person with problems. There are a lot of people out there with worse problems than you have. The only reason they are able to achieve their dreams is there attitude and desire to accomplish something.
If you truly want something, you will find a way to get it. Think positive. There is a very good book, audio tape out there you can get at a library by Tony Robbins. He has coached people from all walks of life. Check it out.
A start is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cpc-t-Uwv1I