Why is self esteem so hard to raise?
i have had low self esteem since i could ever remember.. i feel that i am unlikeable, unworthy, unimportant, unaceptable, anything bad to describe a personality.. even when m feeling good and my self esteem is ok, i still get bad feeling.. eg. m i laughing too much?.. m i talking too much?.. m i not acting like i should be?..
i am taking treatment from a cognitive councellor
i have been doing it 4 2 months.. 1 session every 2 weeks and she gived me tip of what to do..
however.. its worked a bit but not enough!! i dont know if its going to work..
should i continue with it?… or what!
Posted in cognitive treatment
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June 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
It isin't hard at all…
What is actually hard about it, is making up your mind to actually do the work involved in having it!
Everything hard is always worth the expenditure and self esteem comes with a certain aire of responsability.
My guess about you… is that you hate confrontation and avoid it at all costs even to your own detriment and often find yourself sacrificing yourself on the alter of everyone elses…
When you get burned enough… you'll snap out of it all on your own accord.
Just remember… the fact that you think it is hard is an illusion you have created to keep you complacent and in avoidence of all of the confrontation and discomfort that you often have to deal with in order to be considered by those looking in on your condition… confident and strong!
You are also probably self loathing and feel the need to collect yourself as little bits and pieces of everyone elses opinion of you for a lack of being able to come to your own conclusions.
Sometimes you have to be an as*shole, sometimes you have to be a phony, sometimes you have to be honest and sometimes you have to be anything but what everyone else wants you to be in order to truely be happy!
I suggest that you watch the movie "The Libertine." With Johnny Depp.
Empower yourself by stepping out of the fragile boxes that everyone has put you into for a lack of conviction on your part to stand up and be… what you need to be in each and every moment and instance of your life.
It really is too short to attempt to please everyone else!
Rochester: Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on.
The Libertine
June 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
you should learn to trust yourself….and you have to work on it…first you say something that u wouldn't dare before..and then step by step other things…don't feel like that…open yourself…
you can do it,tyou are the best….no one is like you…
just try to remember that.
June 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
I think the key to having good self esteem is to take the focus off yourself and to think about others first. Volunteer. Go out and do things for other people. It makes you feel better about who you are and makes you feel like you are an important part of society and the community around you and that there are people out there who need you.
June 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
self esteem isn't hard to raise. you are the one who set that barrier on yourself. you are beautiful we were all created beautiful. stop putting yourself down and start loving you for who you are and not what you want you to be. so what if you laugh too much or what ever else you think you do too much? start to love yourself and stop being your own enemy.
June 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Read Dale Carnegie's 'How to stop worrying and start living'. I had the same problems and it straightened my thinking. It's a classic based on real life experiences. A must read for any generation.
June 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
stick with it. the negative thoughts have been happening for years ,you cant expect them to go in a few weeks. there is no miracle cure , it takes a lot of working at it to turn these thoughts around
i'm in a similar situation
June 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Yes, you should continue with it because it's progress. There is no such thing as a magic pill or immediate cure for the anxiety from the messages that are battering your brain every second of every day. If that worked even slightly, you've gotten farther than a great many other people, and the more you practice it, the more it will become a part of you. Once it is a part of you, I am sure you will get another tip for the next stage of healing.
I still have a terrible self-esteem and use the same words to describe myself. Adding to that my awkwardness in public, it's often hard to get me to leave my house some days. It took medication to teach me how normal felt and the same medication to teach me I didn't ever want to be on medication again. I can shut off the anxiety sometimes and be able to deal with public situations, but personally, I still prefer to sit and listen to other people instead of talk about myself.
June 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Not hard at all. Get advice: http://www.public-speaking-solutions.com/self-esteem.html